So, awhile ago I wrote this tawdry block of text on the Keith and the Girl forums in response to a girl who was having trouble with her orgasms (she’s since sorted it out). I’ve gotten some great compliments on it. Seems to have helped others with their own personal -ahem- orgasm problems. Although I fail to see it’s potential to be arousing, I am proud of it, both as a piece of work and as sort of how-to guide. I notice that a lot of people are not prepared to speak or write in detail about their personal sex life and I see how this might be helpful. One note: After five years of practiced, precision targeting, my 5-is-a-bad-night track record has moved down to around 3. Every couple will tell you that working for the 5th O is usually futile when you know they’ll be back in your bed naked again tomorrow. C’est la Vie.
Just thought I’d throw my 2 cents in here.
I agree with everyone to see your gyno, and that it might just be that you’re eighteen. I personally don’t believe that the fact that women tend to be unable to orgasm until a later age is due to physiognomy, and that it is probably due to our society but that’s a completely different topic.
I don’t know if it’ll be helpful to you, but this is what I did:
I’ve pretty much always masturbated and there would be a climax, at which point I would stop and go to sleep, but it was never incredible or mind blowing like I had heard it described by other girls. Eventually I changed my masturbatory technique from applied pressure to the clitoris to a combination of finger-fucking and clitoral stimulation, which caused the process to be a lot more fun, but I still had the same bland climax. One night, I was jerking off in my bed like I did every night and I could feel a real orgasm building. As it got closer and more intense, i realized that I was about to be overwhelmed by it and as soon as I made this realization, it felt like a door was being slammed shut in my head and within a second it was over and not only did I not cum, but I was completely turned off. It sounds dumb, but I had frightened myself away from cuming. Before this my jerk-sessions had been frantic and disconnected, almost like a chore. After this, I slowed it way down and made sure to take time not only to acknowledge that I was touching myself, but also to become comfortable with it. Considering how long I had been masturbating, being comfortable would seem like an easy task, but it was really difficult not to feel embarrassed or creeped out. I hadn’t realized how ingrained the shame was. I would have to give myself pep-talks in my head to keep going (it sounds ridiculous, but I’m not kidding).
Eventually, and I’m talking about months of doing this every night I had the same feeling of a massive orgasm building to climax again and I got scared and stopped this time too, but not as quickly, and the next time I felt it, it was only a month later instead of several months. I’m not sure how many times I got to the brink only to be scared away again, but I do know that it got easier each time to relax and accept the loss of control. This technique worked so well for me that now I’m pretty much the most orgasmic person I know, 5 times during sex would be considered a bad night.
Hope that helps, sorry it was so long, I wanted to be as detailed as possible in case you could benefit. Not being able to cum is a horrible condition. I’d have to say that my best advice is practice, practice, practice.