Got back from Arizona. The snake that came with my room died, and me and my new roommate had a ball screaming and grossing out as we tried to get it outta the cage and into the trash bag amidst THE MOST UNBEARABLE STENCH IN THE UNIVERSE. It wasn’t that bad, I got to scream, after all, and that’s, like, my second or third favorite thing in the world!
Also, I got home from Arizona, it was okay. Something interesting did happen though: I was in Savers (Thrift Store) in AZ, wearing my ‘MASTURBATE’ shirt, which I naturally expect to get some reaction while wearing, but this one guy was outta control. Here’s how our conversation went
*Marina is innocently looking at purses*
Dude: Hey, that’s great!
Me: Sure is!
guy walks to the end of the isle and comes back*
Dude: It’s a great thing to do
*guy walks to the end of the isle and comes back*
Dude: You know I think I’ll take your suggestion
Me: Right on
*Marina starts to walk away, toward her friends.
Scary perv man follows*
Dude: In fact, I think I’ll take your suggestion as soon as I get home
*Marina thinks this guy is wonked, and walks faster*
Dude: I don’t think I can wait that long
Dude: I mean, I might have to do it here
Me: Well there’s a bathroom in the back
*Marina finally makes to her friends, and scary impulse control problem man doesn’t think it wise to follow any longer*
The worst part about this guy was that he looked like Old David Lee Roth, and was wearing bright pink Bermuda shorts and those 99 cent sun glasses form the eighties with bright pink ear holdery things (what the fuck are those things called?), as well a fanny pack, it was hot. Also, I’m pretty sure that the whole series of awful comments was meant to suggest that I would touch him in a gross naughty place, but that’s not really the point of the masturbate shirt. In fact, the masturbate shirt isn’t really directed at men at all, it’s mostly for women who have been told by society that their pussies are gross, and to touch it would make you undesirable, and being desirable is the only thing a woman can be, because that’s the measure of their worth. Masturbating is the first step towards liberation and equality for women. Admitting that you masturbate without shame is the second.