Bonsai Trees Are Creepy

There, I said it.

I’ve never met anybody else who feels this way, but I fucking hate bonsai trees. I had friends who were afraid of little people, but I’m the weird one because artificially stunted treelings are totally cool.

In order to make a bonsai, you take something that will be older than you and bigger than you, and for the sake of your own human ego, you trim it’s little roots and mutilate it’s body thereby ensuring that it will never reach the literal or metaphorical heights it was intended to.

Doesn’t that freak you out? It’s basically the tree version of lotus feet. Or female genital mutilation. Or not educating women because ladies learning how to read is the first step in ladies learning how to say no to institutionalized sexual and physical abuse. Also, you’ll have to iron your own shirts.

Fuck bonsai trees.