Marina Rose Martinez

I put the call out on twitter for a blog subject and this is what I got:


cherryfizzy: @Marinaisgo about why your pants are awesome?


I don’t really get this once since I tend to avoid pants like the plague. I have a very high waste, and I carry my fat in the front, so wearing constricting fabric all up around my fat stomach has never appealed to me. Not to mention the fact that pants bother my vagina. Also, my lack of ass and hips in relation to my stomach make me look ridiculous every time I wear them.


When I was in highschool and college I wore pants constantly, but they were always far too big for me and I would sag them down around my hips. At the time I was either thin enough or retarded enough to think this was a good look, but once I started trying to be taken seriously as a professional, educated woman, I knew that pants had to go.


Every so often, on a weekend or on an extremely casual day at work, I’ll dig out my old cargo shorts, and try to relive the glory days, but I know it’s over between pants and me. My gross old Cartman gut hangs over my awesome cargo shorts, and no matter how many or various different shirts I wear on top of that, there’s no way I could lie to myself and say that it looks okay. So i put a damn skirt on and I go about my day.


I have to admit that I miss pants terribly at times. I don’t like the vulnerability of skirts, but they’re infinitely more comfortable than pants, so I stick with skirts and dresses most of the time. Although I do have a secret wish that my weight loss will continue at least until I can wear pants again and not look like a fool and feel like a sausage.

You Know Who
Paradise
555.FUCK.YOU
you_suck_go_die@yahoo.com

June 08, 2009

Sucker
Queen of Being a Lame Looser
1615 Idiot Ave Apt. #Eat a Dick
Suckerville, State of Depression, You’re So Fat You Have Your Own Zip Code

Dear Sucker,

Thank you for thinking that I was a good influence long enough for me to take everything from you.

If only you weren’t so bitter about what happened, you’d see how great it is here. All the women are beautiful, with traumatic sexual histories that cause them to love fellatio and hate cunnilingus. And their self esteem! It’s so low that I can hardly rest between energetic fuck sessions in which I reassure them (one by one or in groups) that they are lovable, even if they are not loved.

All of the babies have been aborted and all of the Gods are judgmental old white men.

Everybody’s so helpful and glad to see me. I’m so happy I took everything from you. Your loss has been particularly helpful in making me so universally well liked and adored.

Don’t Ever Change,

Your Misogynistic Self Hatred, XOXO *hearts*

I pulled this off of the freestyle thread on the Keith and the Girl forums. Just in case it gets deleted. Many are cheesy and only relevent to the post and/or day that they were made on, but I like them so I’m not changing a thing.

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This thread is awesome opossum, and all the other animals.
I think my rymes are fine, you know marina brings the lolz.
I was just jerkin my gerkin, over a the youporn thread
I like it when they work the shaft and then suck on the head
You people know I’m go and all the lights are green
this shit is mad and bad, here at the katg scene.

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I used the word thread twice, at least I didn’t try to rhyme it with itself. I didn’t even realize til just now

---

You have to make it rhyme, like this:


I’m totally addicted to the KATG Forums
My man says he is leaving,
And you know I just ignore him
It’s okay though, while I’m still breathing
he may be angry, he may be seething
But I am the one
Who makes it so fun
To live and Die in Anaheim
‘Cause I am his and he is mine
True love geek style,
M4K3S M3 TYP3 W1LD
I think that maybe, you just got pnowed
I gotta find my baby, so we can bone
Pre-marital victory sex, I do condone.

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I agree with be leaves
just give me some of these…
Islamic titties


Allah ack-bar
Give me some more


Girls who wear lipstick
Under their Niqabb
Are girls who work dipsticks
Like it’s thier night-job


Give me rebels
Shi-ite and Suni
This white devil
Loves Eastern Booty


Just Kidding you guys
I’m straight, and not white
I don’t give one clean fuck
about other girls head-lights
I just wondered if I had good luck
Rhyming about islam, boobs and such.

---

Now I know that you’re feelin’ me
Although I think that moonrose is for peace
And not for Bin Ladin,
That stupid hot-head
That man just needs to get laid
72 vigins is no way to get paid
Christian, Muslim, Jewish or other
Can’t we all be sisters and brothers?
Life is too short
Tell your cohorts
Blowing yourself up
Will not spread love
Where’s that white dove?
Time to rise above
Well that’s all I got
This is my seceret plot
To turn freestyle battle
Into the Freestyle peace talks

---

Kirstin Dunst?
Oh, fuck that cunt!


As for this being the united nations
With you I’ll have to have some patience
Besides America, the Iraq and the Asians
On these forums, we have people from all places
You sir, are canadian,
To my country you are alien
Over here we’ve got the Duchies
To the south you’ll see the Kiwis
Look around at all these countries
That are gathered in this place.
We have members from every race
Saint Marcos, it’s time to embrace
The truth and it is this:
Next time you try to dis
This particular “princess”
Realize this shit
There is something I don’t need
And that is to be mean
Cruelty is for weenies
Who think that they impede
me with their screaming
when really they don’t see,
They’re up against a Queen.


I think you see now that in so-cal this is how we wow the crowd
Marina has beat ya at this creature and you thought you had it down


Sorry to say friend, I’m not some egg-head
I read the news and, I’ve had to count the dead
I feel like this shit has got to end
When are we going to send
Our children to college
Instead of through carnage?
How much is too much?
To see young bucks in crutches
Missing legs, pissin’ blades
Youth laid waste is too much to pay
For someone else’s voracious rapacious
Racist-assed monopolies.
These “rap atrocities”
are not anomalies.
You are being contradictory
Please get straight with me
What is it you believe?

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That shit’s pretty long
for a fucking swan song
Man, that was a neutron bomb


I’m coming at you like IEDs
When you’re done with me
You’ll remember these:


Thou whilst not spit game that, while rhyming makes no sense
Thou shalt not dis men who have bad timing but good concepts
Thou would not incense me by incessant whining and not being honest


You are not the shit,
In fact, you’re a bitch


These are the commandments
I have to demand this
From n00bs who need practice
Do me a favor and take this poultice:
Come back after solstice
When you can do something besides take a piss.


Thank you G3 for your suggestion of solstice as a rhyme for practice.