5 Sexiest Man Butts in Gaming

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The man butt has long been a neglected feature in gaming. It’s a shame because the lady butt is practically a major field of study for aspiring game animators. Despite the ass desert that is modern gaming, there are a few bold stand-outs as it were.

Honorable Mention: Fallout 4 Protag Butt

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I know what you’re thinking. This butt isn’t even that great. But it’s such a vast improvement on the Fallout 3 Protag butt that it at least calls for honorable mention in the category Butt Development.

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Before.

5. Kaidan Alenko Butt (Mass Effect)

When compared to the much more expressive and perky Captain Shepard Butt (more on that later), the untrained eye can easily dismiss a butt like this.

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Shepard: left; Kaidan: right

However, when you consider the man that butt is attached to, it’s easy to see why Kaidan makes the cut.

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Yes, Shepard, yes we are.

4. Nathan Drake Butt (Uncharted)

He’s already been named one of the Sexiest New Characters of the Decade, so the awesome glutes on display in this year’s E3 footage show that┬áSony has no intention of abandoning the fans. Bless you, Sony.

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I sincerely look forward to watching this butt kick some butt.

3. Commander Shepard Butt (Mass Effect)

How can you not list the butt that saves the galaxy?

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Bulky, posterior-unfriendly armor keeps the Shep-butt covered most of the games, which is a shame because somebody put a lot of work into making it appealing in the few scenes where we do see it clearly. This is the ass that launched a thousand Reapers. Mothers, lock up your sons.

2. Geralt of Rivia Butt (Witcher)

Fiddly game-play kept me from finishing my Witcher 2 play-through, and has discouraged me from shelling out for Witcher 3 , but that butt aint fiddly, no sir.

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He does need to buy some new underwear, though.

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If this were an underwear contest, Shepard would win. You can never go wrong with a simple black brief.

And finally…

1. Dorian Butt (Dragon Age)

Far and away the very best butt in gaming right now, Dorian Pavus is not just another pretty posterior.

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He’s also delightfully snarky with just enough angst to be fun, and the man knows how to accessorize with hair.

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What more could an inquisitor want?